Text message forwards are even worst and lamer than e-mail forwards.

I don't get how people at work bitch and complain and make a huge deal about getting a window seat but then keep the blinds closed the whole day...

Things have been going really well for me... More to come soon... :)

3:31am

On a Tuesday

Maple, ON

Weezer with Tokyo Police Club and Angels & Airwaves, September 30th 2008

Tokyo Police Club. The pianist looked like Napoleon Dynamite.

Angels & Airwaves


Weezer.

Weezer.

Cake with Paper Lions, September 25th 2008

My sister and I.

Paper Lions

Cake

The trumpet dude from Cake.

Cake again!

Today I discovered that I can probably pee harder than these new water efficient shower heads.

As lame as it may sound, "The Secret" may actually have a point...

I get the sense sometimes that my life is on a train track. There's twists and turns and different settings and people but in the end it's all preplanned, on a defined course. We're so worried about so much stuff and in the end we already know what happens: we die. I'm not trying to be morbid but it's just the reality of it. I just get the sense that whatever happens it'll all be fine and it doesn't really matter because I'm just chugging away on these "rails" and I'll end up at the same destination.

Man, I think I've been watching too much Six Feet Under.

I really don't understand what happened. It seemed like I had a pretty good idea of what usually is going on around me and was able to manage it pretty good, but I find myself more and more into these really confusing situations. I'm starting to think that I'm putting myself in these, that it is all of my own doing. We all like to think that we are pretty smart and usually make smart decisions but recently it seemed like I'm like King Midas except everything I touch turns to shit. I can't seem to convey or act in a manner that I feel really represents, well, me. I seem to have emotions that are reactive instead of smart. Everything kind of happens so fast and it all just spirals out of control. My strongest resolve just pretty much turns to dust in a manner of minutes and everything I've worked to accomplish just goes to shit.

I was thinking today about how everything always seems to work out in the end, and I was pondering the validity of that statement. Does everything really work out or is it just some motivational crap we tell ourselves to make all of the pain and suffering somehow worth it? Isn't life really a roller coaster where our good times are defined by our bad times? Or do things really work out for the best? I guess it goes back to my many theories about happiness and attaining it.

It's funny how it always seems to go back to that for me. I mean, I get it... We should stop focusing on what we don't have, we should just let go and enjoy what we do have. Yes, we all want to do that. I don't think I'm someone who doesn't want to be happy so I'm not. I really do think that I can achieve happiness, it just seems that whatever way I try to, it doesn't work. That also means that I'm not giving up on finding that happiness. Maybe I'm trying to be happier. I could do a whole laundry list of why I should be happy, but then I could do a whole laundry list of how I could be happier. Does this mean I don't appreciate what I have? Probably at times to some extent I don't appreciate, but then again if we get complacent with what we have, doesn't that deny us to possibility of gaining more? Or is it really jealousy, where we see that star, we want it now and we don't care how?

I'm realistic in the fact that I know that even if I had everything I wanted right now, it wouldn't be perfect. Would I be happier? Probably, but then again for how long? Does it matter? It's not like we can stay status quo. Even if we know in the future we won't be satisfied, we still do what we need to for the immediate fix. I wonder how many kids were born because of that train of thought.

I'm just fucking frustrated right now. I just want to be able to regain some kind of control in my life, but it seems that the more I try, the more I fuck up. I don't expect everything to happen overnight but it seems that every step I take forward, I do something to fuck it up and take two steps back.

Johnny Fontane: Oh, Godfather, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
Don Corleone: [shouts] You can act like a man!
[he slaps Johnny]
Don Corleone: What's the matter with you. Is this how you turned out? A Hollywood finocchio that cries like a woman.
[Don Corleone imitates him sobbing]
Don Corleone: "What can I do?"
[cut to Tom who is laughing]
Don Corleone: "What can I do?" What is that nonsense. Ridiculous.

- The Godfather, 1972

I think it's time that I listen to the Godfather.

False hope or unreasonable expectations?

A balance of honesty and respect, really is all I ask for.

I'm to the point where instead of getting upset at bullshit I am simply just not caring.

I'm not sure being complacent to shitty situations is the way to go but when I get worked up it never amounts to anything good.

Rockstock, August 16th 2008

Every time I got to a store that sells luggage, there's always the one suitcase that's in the middle of the path. I bet it is one person who goes around, tries it out a bit and then leaves it there like a careful sprung trap. Who is this person? What is his motivation? Why doesn't he buy the damn thing?

Seriously, next time you're at Sears you'll see that lone suitcase you'll have to walk around.

You know when you have this feeling you really really REALLY shouldn't say or do something but you still go against all of your screaming internal voices and instincts and still go ahead and fuuuuuuuuucking say it?

Sometimes I look up to the heavens, wish for the clouds to part and for a giant meteorite to crash down on Earth and strike me where I stand, pulverizing me instantly and putting me out of my misery.

Je m'ennuie de Montréal. A chaque fois que je reviens d'une visite au Québec, ça me donne le gout d'y retourner.

You know, to add to my previous post, don't fucking call out my name and then when I respond ignore me completely and do something else and then call out my name again just as I go back to my work.

If I hear one more person today keep saying "what?" after I repeat something three times because they aren't paying attention, I'm likely to rip their arms off and beat them to death with them.

I find myself waiting a lot. This could be problematic for two reasons:

1) What if I keep waiting and waiting and whatever I am waiting for never comes.
2) What the fuck am I waiting for, and will I know when it finally shows up?

No alarms and no surprises, please.

"It's probably for the best" sounds more like trying to convince yourself then a true observation of the situation.

Maybe I should start following this advice.

Life really has a way of fucking with you sometimes, doesn't it?

Life isn't fair. I think we all understand this and all realize this eventually. But it makes you wonder where we got the idea that it would be, or that it should be. Maybe it's also the fact of what we consider fair. Life should be fair is a pretty broad statement. You could argue that until you're dead, life has been fair since you know, you're still alive.

I don't think our parents gave us the impression that life would be fair, meaning I don't fault them for that. Even if you have good parents, you realize pretty quickly that they had to go through some serious shit to get to where they are now.

So what makes it that we take a look back and realize that shit just happens constantly in our lives? I know as a person I always try to do what's right, what's fair, what's nice. You know, Karma and all that stuff. But does Karma really exist? If it really did, only mean people would get cancer, right? We all know that isn't the case.

Maybe it's Hollywood's fault? You know, things always seem to end up okay at the end of the movie. Divorced parents get back together, the guy gets the girl, they win the big game, they save the planet, etc... You know, Hollywood bullshit.

At what point do we set happiness and life expectations for ourselves? How do we decide that we haven't reached our full potential, that we haven't gotten to the best point in our life? Do we ever really get to that point?

I sometimes wonder if this is as good as it gets.

We pretty much have the idea in life that it goes up, you "plateau" and then it goes downhill. So when do we actually reach this so called plateau? Should we even waste time thinking about trying to find that sweet spot where life is so wonderful? What if there really isn't any sweet spot, and it's just an uphill battle until finally you're laying in bed in a smelly hospital thinking why did I waste my time trying to work my way to something that doesn't exist?

Another question we probably should ask ourselves is how do we learn to appreciate fully the things we take for granted. You can show me a million pictures of starving little kids, if they fuck up my order at McDonald's, I'll still be pissed. Does the fact that we are alway striving for something better blind us to how good we have it now?

Wow I haven't done the blog thing in a while, and I haven't written an opinion post since my last little rant about respect and there's a reason for that.

I was thinking that the funny thing about a blog is that you feel inclined to write personal stuff, which is normal since this is a personal blog, yet sometimes you don't want to get too personal because you never know who's stopping by to take a peek. It's a weird thing about the internet where you want to share your personal experiences and opinions yet you never know who is seeing them and how it can affect your past, current and future relationships. I've gone through my blog twice now to erase complete passages and posts about specific events in my life, only for the fact that it has helped me move ahead and stop thinking too much about what was and what might have been. Will I ever regret tampering with my blogging past? I seriously doubt it.

You see, even though those events are my past and helped shape who I am I'd like to think that my whole blog is who I am now as well. Okay so there's a lot of immature, stupid shit on here but that is also a part of me. I'd like to think there's also some deep, smart stuff in here too.

In the end, I don't set too much importance in this blog, yet it is obviously important enough for me to add to it every once in a while and I enjoy it.

That's got to count for something, right?

I'm going to sound like a huge fanboy but I don't give a fuck. Metallica is fucking cool. The new album is coming out this year and I've been watching some videos from the Meet & Greets they have had so far this year (yeah, I'm part of the fan club) and those guys are just really down to earth and really fucking cool to their fans.

I can't wait to see them in concert again.

I'm madly in anger with you.

Toronto Blue Jays vs Atlanta Braves

The Jays get crushed 10-2 by the Braves.

I've come to the conclusion that I am simply ridiculous!

I consider myself a respectful person. I will hold the door for someone, I will chew with my mouth closed in public and I will say please and thank you. I will turn off my cell phone in the movie theatre and if a car is trying to change lanes in front of me I will let them through.

But those are just small random acts of kindness. They are minor annoyances at best. It is something ‘nice’. The dictionary would define this as ‘…to show regard or consideration for someone...”

But respect is more than that. It is accepting someone important to you, someone you respect. Again, the dictionary will define it as “…deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment…”

So basically I respect you so I will do this for you, or explain this to you. Or, you deserve to know why I did this. Or, I will or won’t do this because I respect you. Or, my favourite, I respect you so I will put up with your bullshit.

But doesn’t that all go out the window when it comes to what ‘you’ want? Where does respect for others come in when it is something you really ‘need’ to do? At what point do you sacrifice self-happiness for respect? At what point do you start thinking about yourself first?

Because in the end, doesn’t all come down to you? We only live once and we only live one life, our own. Don’t we ‘respect’ people simply because in the end it is self serving? You make people happy by respecting them, which in turn makes them like you, which then makes you happy. This is where we like to say “I have to respect myself too” which is another way of saying “fuck this, I’m thinking about me”.

My point is that you can’t rely on respect. Respect is important but it isn’t all powerful.

People in the end will think about themselves first, no matter what.

No remorse, no repent.

I wonder how many times this has been blogged but...

Everything happens for a reason.

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

- Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson) in Clerk (1994)

To the three people who read my blog, please check out my buddy's new poetry book. It's really good; this kid has talent.

You can visit his site HERE, and buy/view his book HERE.

Go there. Immediately.

It's incredible to me how most people pay so little attention to what others have to say.

The Foo Fighters with Against Me! and HiFi Hand Grenades, March 22nd 2008

Is it really March 8th today?

Talking Frosted Mini-Wheats are like something out of my wildest, most wonderful dreams.

Here's an interesting fact:

"In 2006, $4.1 billion was spent on telemarketing in Canada, generating $26.1 billion in sales and creating 155,000 jobs."

There's your answer about why you still get annoyed with Telemarketing calls constantly even though you have never bought anything over the phone.

The CRTC (Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission) is actually enforcing this new "do-not-call list" starting this fall. I doubt it is going to change anything but we'll see.

More on it here, on CBC.ca

I haven't posted in over a month due to the fact that I was on vacation in BC for 20 days. I'll be posting pictures of my trip soon (hopefully) but in the meantime enjoy his picture of the mini-sticks McDonald's have been selling:

Three Days Grace with Econoline Crush and Seether, January 18th 2008

Three Days Grace show at the Kool Haus in Toronto. We scored a Meet and Greet with the band.

Meet and Greet:

Econoline Crush:

Seether:

Three Days Grace:

I don't understand why certain comedies (Good Luck Chuck for example) feel the need to add a scene that an old person swears. It's not shocking, it's not pushing the envelope and it certainly isn't funny.

Maybe if this was 1997... And that's a big 'maybe'.

I previously said that Bionic Woman may turn out to be a good TV show...

Wow, was I ever wrong.

Here's to a new year where we will all hopefully realize that even though the Earth seems to be constantly spinning out of control, we can still find balance by doing certain things:

Think on how we want to react to everything around us, not worry on the things that we cannot change and slow down and focus on the things that we can.