Happy Valentine's Day.

There's so many Wii jokes I could be making, but I won't since you've probably heard them all.

Anyways, I got one.

Now I need a new TV...

Why does it take so long for a woman to get out of the car?

It always seems like such a painstakingly long task of putting on your coat, arranging the wardrobe, checking the purse, fixing the makeup, brushing the hair, etc, etc, etc...

How can it take so long when all you've been doing the whole time is sitting there? I'd understand if cars hadn't been invented with a windshield to protect you from the elements, but I doubt the heater or air conditioner has the power to really fuck up your appearance that bad.

It's like taking 15 minutes to exit a vehicle is written in the woman's DNA or something.

Billy Talent, February 2nd 2007

I've recently downloaded the new Sam & Max games, and came across a comic strip generator. For the fun of it, I decided to make my own with a little Dan the Man comedy.

Enjoy!

I was talking to a co-worker the other day regarding the rules of who pays for what during dates. Obviously this is my own views, since this is my blog. If you're not happy, then go fuck yourself.

Firstly, let's start with the beginning: the first date. Now, typically a guy will ask the girl out first. Regardless, the guy should pick up the tab. That doesn't mean it should be assumed. See, even though I know I'm going to pay, and you know you're not going to pay, you should still offer. But don't over offer, that's annoying.

Example #1:

"I got it", says the guy.

Girl files her nails and doesn't acknowledge the gesture.

Result: Go fuck yourself you prissy uptight bitch.

Example #2:

"I'll pay for this.", says the guy.

"You sure? I can pay half.", says the girl, with admiration and genuine feeling.

"No really, I invited you, I got it." warm smiles all around.

Result: Perfect. The girl showed the guy she is willing to toss a few bucks at the bill, especially if she had three appetizers, the lobster and two desserts. Oh, and about five $10 pina-fucking-coladas. Now ladies, you have to be careful if you offer, because some idiot guy is going to break the code and will take you up on it one of these days, so if you're going to offer to pay half and the guy says "Sure", then don't get all pissed off (and don't be so fucking cheap either). On the second date, the girl definately should offer and actually pay half of the bill.


Example #3

"I got it."

"No I can pay for half."

"No really it's okay, I invited you."

"No, I want to pay for half."

"I have this, really."

"I demand that I pay for half."

"I want to pay for it all!"

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Result: Look, you offered once, and thanks for that. But when we say we got it 10 times in a row, shut the fuck up and accept it.

Honestly, it's one of the all time most annoying things in the world, well probably second to talking during the hockey game.

And this whole rant is why I don't go on dates.

The Purple Rose.

Why not... To keep in the tradition of my last post...

Merry Christmas!

Who said work couldn't be fun?

Hinder, November 28th 2006

The Living End, November 27th 2006

These little bamboo plants seem to be the craze at work, every desk seems to have one. For some weird reason I cannot even begin to explain, I have inherited a bamboo plant myself.

This is the bamboo of the girl I sit next to:

Very nice, healthy looking bamboo.

Now here is mine...

*sigh*

When life throws an egg at you, beat that shit into an omelet mothafuckah!

Theory of a Deadman & Three Days Grace, November 10th 2006

Theory of a Deadman

Three Days Grace

Mobile

This is the funniest e-mail I have probably ever received, and it's junk mail.

Can I get that with foam? How do you drink an ejaculatte, double double or extra cream?

I can't believe I haven't posted this, as it happened a little while ago.

I apologize for this random act of vandalism. I was drunk, walking in the rain and suddenly wanted to lash out at society.

That and I'm fucking sick of these election signs all over.

Halloween 2006

Halloween 2006 - Giant Skull Heads

"We have similar senses of humour."