"See, these guys thought The 40 Year Old Virgin was a documentary."


- Michele

Tip: Don't buy a toothbrush from a yard sale.

Patience Dan, patience.

Dammit, my mind won't stop playing tricks on me.

I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed.

And I gotta tell ya...

It feels phenomenal.

Hey!

Wait!

I've got a new complaint...
Forever in debt to your priceless advice.

... Your advice...

Fuck the World Cup, tonight belongs to Hockey.

Why do people get mad when you ask them to stop sending you forwards?

First of all, I never read e-mail forwards unless they are sent directly to me. This is mostly because it seems I get sent the same 5 e-mails constantly. It's not like it's an original e-mail they created and decided to send to me (those I don't mind at all).

Secondly, I don't like forwards because people usually don't know how to forward correctly. There's a billion scrolling down to do, and they have everyone's e-mail addresses showing. I don't want strangers to have my e-mail address (the exception to this rule of course is hot chicks).

Forwarding 101: You send the e-mail to yourself and you Bcc: everyone else.

You'd think this would be common fucking courtesy at this point.

Take a good look at me now
You should have never had a doubt
Is that you I hear screamin' my name?

I'm a roller
I'm a rider


A number one motherfucking survivor.

Don't you just hate false advertisement... -_-

You know what they say, rough mornings usually follow good nights.

It's my world
You can't have it!

Not only do I not know the answer...
I don't even know what the question is.

"Hey girl, I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus..."

Best pick-up line ever.

Hahahaha!

Live together, die alone.

Variety is the spice of life.

"Oh no. I'm sorry to hear it. But... Also selfishly wanting to grab you in your availability. Um...for [roleplaying game] stuff, not grab in a dirty way"

Hahahaha.

It's pathetic how overactive my imagination can get.

Just when you thought your life sucked, you talk to someone who's had it fifty times worst...

Who's then followed by ten people who have it fifty times better.

Cocksuckers.

Risk everything, or gain nothing.

I'm looking for a wife so my mom doesn't have to do my laundry anymore...