I've recently downloaded the new Sam & Max games, and came across a comic strip generator. For the fun of it, I decided to make my own with a little Dan the Man comedy.

Enjoy!

I was talking to a co-worker the other day regarding the rules of who pays for what during dates. Obviously this is my own views, since this is my blog. If you're not happy, then go fuck yourself.

Firstly, let's start with the beginning: the first date. Now, typically a guy will ask the girl out first. Regardless, the guy should pick up the tab. That doesn't mean it should be assumed. See, even though I know I'm going to pay, and you know you're not going to pay, you should still offer. But don't over offer, that's annoying.

Example #1:

"I got it", says the guy.

Girl files her nails and doesn't acknowledge the gesture.

Result: Go fuck yourself you prissy uptight bitch.

Example #2:

"I'll pay for this.", says the guy.

"You sure? I can pay half.", says the girl, with admiration and genuine feeling.

"No really, I invited you, I got it." warm smiles all around.

Result: Perfect. The girl showed the guy she is willing to toss a few bucks at the bill, especially if she had three appetizers, the lobster and two desserts. Oh, and about five $10 pina-fucking-coladas. Now ladies, you have to be careful if you offer, because some idiot guy is going to break the code and will take you up on it one of these days, so if you're going to offer to pay half and the guy says "Sure", then don't get all pissed off (and don't be so fucking cheap either). On the second date, the girl definately should offer and actually pay half of the bill.


Example #3

"I got it."

"No I can pay for half."

"No really it's okay, I invited you."

"No, I want to pay for half."

"I have this, really."

"I demand that I pay for half."

"I want to pay for it all!"

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Result: Look, you offered once, and thanks for that. But when we say we got it 10 times in a row, shut the fuck up and accept it.

Honestly, it's one of the all time most annoying things in the world, well probably second to talking during the hockey game.

And this whole rant is why I don't go on dates.

The Purple Rose.

Why not... To keep in the tradition of my last post...

Merry Christmas!

Who said work couldn't be fun?

Hinder, November 28th 2006

The Living End, November 27th 2006

These little bamboo plants seem to be the craze at work, every desk seems to have one. For some weird reason I cannot even begin to explain, I have inherited a bamboo plant myself.

This is the bamboo of the girl I sit next to:

Very nice, healthy looking bamboo.

Now here is mine...

*sigh*

When life throws an egg at you, beat that shit into an omelet mothafuckah!

Theory of a Deadman & Three Days Grace, November 10th 2006

Theory of a Deadman

Three Days Grace

Mobile

This is the funniest e-mail I have probably ever received, and it's junk mail.

Can I get that with foam? How do you drink an ejaculatte, double double or extra cream?

I can't believe I haven't posted this, as it happened a little while ago.

I apologize for this random act of vandalism. I was drunk, walking in the rain and suddenly wanted to lash out at society.

That and I'm fucking sick of these election signs all over.

Halloween 2006

Halloween 2006 - Giant Skull Heads

"We have similar senses of humour."

I want to know how something so beautiful could turn so ugly...

Something fucking hilarious happened today other than the Habs winning and the Leafs losing (to the Sens no less). Anyways, this happened at work, so I'm not sure how funny it'll be to other people, but to me it's hilarious so fuck off, I'm writing about it.

This one trainer at work went off on this new guy because she keeps repeating the same stuff to him over and over and he's just not getting it. So she's blasting him, going off and he's just responding when all of a sudden he goes:

"Do you want to buy my cell phone?"

So everyone kind of goes quiet and get that what the fuck?! look.

Maybe it's because he has an accent, maybe it's just the randomness but I just start laughing my ass off. So he's trying to explain or he's saying something but I just kept talking over him, asking the trainer random shit like:

"Hey, this weekend, wanna mow my lawn?"

"Hey hey, next week, wanna dry clean my shirts?"

I went off like that for about 5 minutes before walking away.

I'll take my drama controlled, thank you very much.

I was never a huge fan of bacon, but within the last two weeks because of work, I'm going to be eating a billion times more of it.

It's a bacon celebration.

Eat pork. Lots of it.

Everyone, together now.

I love my family, and I love road hockey, so this blog entry will contain both.

FUCKING AMAZING, I know.