Thursday, December 27, 2012

Kevin Smith (@ThatKevinSmith) favourited one of my tweets. My life is complete... Kinda.

Okay, I have lots more I want to accomplish but that's still pretty cool.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Norm MacDonald, October 19th 2012

I saw Norm MacDonald live at the Queen Elizabeth theatre in Toronto. Hilarious, as usual. This was my second time seeing him and he just killed it. We laughed the whole time, which is great since we were at a comedy show.

Follow Norm on Twitter (super funny tweets: @normmacdonald) and his web site:

Rebecca Kohler (@becca_kohler) opened up for him and she did a great job.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Tweet back from former NHL tough guy Georges Laraque. Right on. 

Friday, September 14, 2012

Another Dan Says comic strip by Greg (check out his site at

Monday, September 03, 2012

Toronto Blue Jays vs Baltimore Orioles

The Blue Jays lose 4-0 to the Orioles. Entertaining game anyways, with free seats really close to the field and a truly perfect weather day for a ball game.

Oh and bonus: Kristin Kreuk threw the ceremonial first pitch.

Friday, July 06, 2012

Aziz Ansari, July 7th 2012

Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) who plays Tom in Parks and Recreation was hilarious at the Sony Centre in Toronto. I especially liked "I am not doing Celebrity Ghost Stories because... I've never seen a ghost!". The vegan joke too was pretty solid with "Oh you don't want to hurt the little animals...But you're fine with the immigrants picking your vegetables. You don't care about them only because they have no fur!".

Opening act Chelsea Peretti (@ChelseaVPeretti) killed it too.

I'm surprised that people confusing "your" and "you're" still annoys the shit out of me.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I am a cartoon now courtesy of Greg (
The premise of this is that I posted on Facebook for people to stop whining about the heat and this was his retort.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

The one OK chick in the group that suddenly gets hit on by all the guys because she's the best there is at the time:

It's like when a seagull picks up a scrap of garbage and all the other seagulls mob it because they think it's delicious food.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Toronto Blue Jays vs New York Mets

Jays lose 6-5 against the Mets in interleague play. Still a great game with a home run by Bautista and a good comeback attempt. Over 40,000 came out to an open domed Rogers Centre.

Friday, May 18, 2012

So I was looking at the trailer for Bob Dylan's movie called "Don't Look Back" and I had to take a screenshot of this because it's so awesome.

Even Bob Dylan thinks you FAIL.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Toronto Rock vs Rochester Knighthawks

The Rock lose 17-13 to the Knighthawks on what wasn't goalie Nick Rose's best game to end their playoff hopes for 2012.

On a good note, I did get seat upgrades from Maddogg (haha) from Virgin Radio 99.9 (which I never listen to) because we were at the Jack Astor's pre-game event. Not bad, not bad at all.

Bonus pic: Cheerleaders! (@Rock_Cheer)

Monday, May 07, 2012

Congratulations are in order to the guy at work who married his own bowel movement. That's the only explanation I have for him leaving about fifty little pieces of toilet paper confetti sprinkled all around the stall in celebration.

People are so fucking gross.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Toronto Rock vs Buffalo Bandits

The Toronto Rock win the first game of the 2012 NLL playoffs by beating the Buffalo Bandits by a score of 7-6 after being down 0-4 in the first quarter. What a great come back game!

Monday, April 30, 2012

Spoiler Alert: if you send all of your emails to me as urgent (even when they aren't), I'm going to ignore the urgency of all of your emails because obviously you don't understand the basic concept of when something is urgent and when it is not.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Toronto Blue Jays vs Seattle Mariners

The Jays crush the Seattle Mariners 7-0 in part thanks to great pitching from Brandon Morrow and a grand slam by Edwin Encarnacion. We had great (free) tickets right by third base in section 116.

WTF is this planking bullshit. I don't think I've ever seen anything dumber in my whole life.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Someone just posted on Facebook that their dog died but 5 minutes before had a "Create Your Own Tim Horton's Cup" post.

Nothing helps mourning a loved family pet like a big ol' cup of double-double coffee.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I've been spending too much time on Twitter. Today one of my coworkers was annoying me and I clearly thought in my head "#You'reAMoron".

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

I just heard my coworker repeat a phrase on the phone in the exact same way (tone, pronunciation, timing) and I'm wondering if I just witnessed a glitch in the Matrix.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I can understand a grammar error here and there or a typo once in a while, but come on people, learn how to fucking spell at least better than a five year old.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Mississauga St.Michael's Majors vs Niagara IceDogs

The Majors lose their last home game of the season 2-0 against the Niagara IceDogs.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Who's laughing so much at the lame jokes during sitcoms?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Why is yogurt suddenly taking on the mission of making me poop more?

Saturday, March 03, 2012

Toronto Rock vs Washington Stealth

The Rock are defeated 14-9 by the Stealth, and that sucked. Good game overall though.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

So this is friggin' brilliant: Star Wars: The Machete Order

It suggests watching the movies in this order: IV, V, II, III, VI and leaving out Episode I (treating it like bonus material, or back story kind of like the Clone Wars cartoons or the books).

The guy on the site makes a really compelling argument, and I agree with him 100%. If I ever find someone who's never seen the Star Wars movies, I'm going with this.

Of course for great reviews and arguments as to why and how the Star Wars Prequels suck, you have to check out Plinkett's reviews on RedLetterMedia. It's a long listen but worth it, I think.

Also, I haven't seen Phantom Menace in 3D and I probably have no plans to.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I received the 2nd best spam email today. Here's the picture (click to enlarge... YOUR BONER):

#1 best spam picture ever? Here it is (no lie, I got this in an email years ago... and kept it...)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Scott Faulconbridge, February 16th 2012

Saw funny guy Scott Faulconbridge at Yuk Yuk's in Vaughan. Great show, too bad about these old Italians who sat in the front row and were douche bags the whole time.

Twitter: @scottythecomic

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Jeff Ross (Roast Master General) with Tony Hinchcliffe, February 11th 2012

Awesomely funny show. Unfortunately Whitney Houston died during the show (or it was announced anyways) but fortunately it lead to some funny moments. Yes, it's too soon.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Mark Forward with Graham Chittenden and Richard Ryder, January 28th 2012

Hilarious show at Yuk Yuk's in Mississauga featuring funny guys Mark Forward (@Mark_Forward -, Graham Chittenden (@GrahamChit) and Richard Ryder (@TheRichardRyder)!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Please, everyone stop with the Mayan 2012 End of the World crap.

NASA has facts. Here, put this in your mind gullet:

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Yes, please keep stuffing your big fat mouth with chips while talking to me on the phone, the crunching sound makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I love how people spew "facts" without first researching it. Thankfully we now have Google to make them look like dumb fucks in front of everyone.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

"Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word."

- Ned Stark, A Game of Thrones (George R. R. Martin)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

If I was to invent a tracking device, I'd make sure I wouldn't put a very noticeable large blinking light on it.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Demetri Martin with Levi MacDougall, January 13th 2012

First row, perfectly centered.

Demetri Martin, being hilarious. (@DemetriMartin)

Funny guy Levi MacDougall (@levimacdougall) doing the beer unicorn.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Every time we have cake at work for a special occasion, it always looks a lot better than it tastes.

Monday, January 09, 2012

I realized today that there are three things that instantly make me mad. I wish it was world hunger or political corruptions or little puppies getting strangled but alas, it's nothing that serious.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1) The Star Wars prequels. I looked forward to The Phantom Menace like I've never looked forward to anything before. I watched the sneak peak and the trailer about a million times. I stood in line at 6am for 8 hours for presale tickets, and then another 8 hours before the show. But then, the movie sucked. I was crushed.

2) The ending of LOST. I somehow knew it was going to be a disaster but I kept hoping. It sucked, bad. I realize that the pressure was on for this to end well, and I couldn't figure out how'd they end it properly. Evidently neither did the people who wrote for the show.

3) Patrick Roy getting traded from the Montreal Canadiens. I was a huge Habs fan (I still am, but not as passionately) and Patrick Roy was my favourite player. Then the Habs traded him in what is considered to be one of the worst trades ever. I couldn't believe it. I actually stopped watching hockey from about 1995 to 2004.

Years later, these things still piss me off to no extent.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Toronto Rock vs Calgary Roughnecks

Raising the banner for the Toronto Rock's 6th Championship! 

... Unfortunately the Rock lost the game 12-9 against the Calgary Roughnecks.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

I know Twitter isn't a big deal, and getting tweets from "celebrities" isn't a huge deal either but on the other hand I just think it's kind of cool because you get to interact with people you pretty much would never have a chance to otherwise.

This guy, Michael Santini played for the Brampton Battalion (OHL Team) and I always used to shout out his name like a Jawa in Star Wars (they yell out "Utini!"). I thought I'd share it with him and he retweeted it and now I have a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

The whole New Year's Eve thing is dumb.