Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Does anyone else feel like listening to someone's dream is a waste of time. Don't get this confused with listening to someone's dreams as in hopes and ambitions, I mean someone who tells you about the fucked up dream they had last night.

Now if it's a hot chick who's telling you about this crazy sex dream her and her twin sister were having about you, then by all means ignore this rant. But if a co-worker starts blabbing about some dream they had of them running in a field of purple leprechaun faces while wearing Edward from Twilight's face as a mask and having the body of Big Bird, does anyone really give a shit? I mean saying "dude, I had a fucked up dream last night" is fine, but tell me about a REAL life experience instead of some long drawn out recounting of "I was in my house but not really because the living room was my grandma's old house but we were really in the shed and suddenly Alec Baldwin was there but he was my dad and he had long banana fingers and kept trying to diddle me with them."

Seriously, I don't give a shit. No one else does. I always tune out when someone tells me about their boring ass dream.

Monday, April 19, 2010

So there's an ad in French for McDonald's breakfast burrito where a dude in a Mexican accent goes "Aye aye ya my nicest creation"

Really? A fucking $3 breakfast burrito is your nicest creation? What the fuck?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Grumpy female co-worker: "Mmm, the raisin bran muffin they have upstairs are really good today."

Me: "Yeah, and it'll keep you regular."

Grumpy female co-worker: "..."

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Notice to the person "singing" (I use the term very VERY loosely) in the cubicle near me: either fucking sing or shut the fuck up, but enough of the ear-grating, cringe-worthy, high pitched squealing.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

There's something stupid about writing "I forgot to mention" since you're the one who controls when you submit your text entry (or e-mail or whatever), you didn't forget to mention anything really. Just go back and change your shit before you send it. It's not like an actual conversation where you can't go back to edit what you said.