Friday, March 30, 2007

For the record, I am not the one who wrote that (I don't really feel the need to write my name on stuff), but it happened to be the parking spot we were in and I found it funny, so I took a picture.

Monday, March 26, 2007

I am so sick of people going on about Facebook all the time. If you don't know what Facebook is, it's something like Myspace or some crap. It's the next big thing, yadda yadda yadda. Fuck it!

The worst is I've never been on the site, and mostly it's because everyone I know tells me how awesome it is because it made them connect with so and so and this and that and their long lost fucking cousin from Nebraska or some shit. What's next, facebook is so great 'cause it cured my blindness and gave me a hard on? I had made a myspace page before and all I got was these dumb spam sex webcam friends to add me every second day. Not that great if you ask me, and a huge waste of time. I actually deleted my page and vowed never to go on that site again.

Fuck that shit.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I was taking a leak at the urinal at work today when I glanced down and noticed a pubic hair in there (not mine). Now any guy will tell you this is not uncommon because there's absolutely no way for you to wipe the urinal or pluck your pubic hair out, hence once it falls in it is pretty much an offering to the Toilet Gods for everyone to admire.

Anyways, it made me think of something funny that I encourage everyone to try: go around the office looking for someone (preferably female, it makes it even more ironic) that has the longest darkest curliest hair possible.

Now carefully select one of these long hairs and bring it back to the urinal, and place it in such a way that even those CSI fuckers would think it had fallen from a man's hairy nut sack.

Once everyone at work is grossed out (and engrossed on the mystery of who's pubic hair that was), follow up with fake blood on the toilet seat, but this time in the women's washrooms.

This could actually even be more fun at work than a bandoleer of sticky notes.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

So there's these ads up here in Canada about Kraft's Delissio frozen pizza where there's two people who argue back and forth about the pizza being take-out or Delissio, with the idea being that supposedly you can't tell the difference and that this particular brand of frozen pizza is as good as one you would order in.

Well, newsflash: We can all tell the difference...

Delissio tastes like shit.

Monday, March 05, 2007

So I happened to watch this show called "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" hosted by Jeff Foxworthy (who used to be funny).

After that experience, I feel dumber than a 5th grader simply due to fact that it's a fucking stupid ass show and made me dumb simply by watching such pointless idiotic crap.

Honestly, the whole premise sounded midly amusing...

It really is not.

Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm in relax mode.