Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I was talking to a co-worker the other day regarding the rules of who pays for what during dates. Obviously this is my own views, since this is my blog. If you're not happy, then go fuck yourself.

Firstly, let's start with the beginning: the first date. Now, typically a guy will ask the girl out first. Regardless, the guy should pick up the tab. That doesn't mean it should be assumed. See, even though I know I'm going to pay, and you know you're not going to pay, you should still offer. But don't over offer, that's annoying.

Example #1:

"I got it", says the guy.

Girl files her nails and doesn't acknowledge the gesture.

Result: Go fuck yourself you prissy uptight bitch.

Example #2:

"I'll pay for this.", says the guy.

"You sure? I can pay half.", says the girl, with admiration and genuine feeling.

"No really, I invited you, I got it." warm smiles all around.

Result: Perfect. The girl showed the guy she is willing to toss a few bucks at the bill, especially if she had three appetizers, the lobster and two desserts. Oh, and about five $10 pina-fucking-coladas. Now ladies, you have to be careful if you offer, because some idiot guy is going to break the code and will take you up on it one of these days, so if you're going to offer to pay half and the guy says "Sure", then don't get all pissed off (and don't be so fucking cheap either). On the second date, the girl definately should offer and actually pay half of the bill.


Example #3

"I got it."

"No I can pay for half."

"No really it's okay, I invited you."

"No, I want to pay for half."

"I have this, really."

"I demand that I pay for half."

"I want to pay for it all!"

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Result: Look, you offered once, and thanks for that. But when we say we got it 10 times in a row, shut the fuck up and accept it.

Honestly, it's one of the all time most annoying things in the world, well probably second to talking during the hockey game.

And this whole rant is why I don't go on dates.

Post a Comment