Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Pulling Teeth

If there are any dentists who are reading my blog (who am I kidding, there's all of 3 people reading this and I'm one of them - aaaaanyways), are you guys taught in University to mention your patient's first name a certain amount of time per visit? Honestly. I mean, I just met my dentist and she's calling my name out more often then my mom used to when I was out playing with my friends and it was dinner time. "Okay Daniel, I will now be looking at your molars. Very good Daniel, but are you flossing every day Daniel? Daniel, here's a new toothbrush Daniel, you're doing great Daniel. Daniel Daniel Daniel.

She even asked me if I preferred Dan or Daniel. Guess what? I prefer you shut the fuck up and clean my teeth [that's harsh - Ed. ... Oh wait, I'm the editor].

Even the Receptionist is acting like she's my long lost cousin and dropping the personal touch, "Oh hi Daniel!" "Sure Daniel, we can change that for you" "Look forward to seeing you Daniel!" She dropped my name five times in a 30 second call.

Not to sound like a Seinfeld episode, but dentists are always going into these deep conversations with you and expect some kind of reply... When your mouth is full of dental machinery. You're drilling into my fricken head, I don't want to discuss my latest job woes. The worst is that it drives me crazy because it is usually the most engaging questions that I really really want to answer, but can't (obviously).

Last thing about dentists: I can't think of anyone who makes you feel like you've accomplished so much through positive reinforcement for simply laying back in a chair with your mouth open wide. You'd think I'd have cured cancer while I'm getting my mouth x-rayed and brought Peace on Earth while she's freezing my mouth with about fifteen injections by hearing her go on about what a brave and awesome patient I am. I think she had an orgasm last time I responded with "Ugh" and a thumbs up when she asked me how I was doing.

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